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Considering Homeschooling – Reasons Why Not to Put Your Child in Preschool

Thursday, July 13th, 2017

Many parents these days are putting their children in preschool in the mistaken belief that the sooner their young ones are institutionalized, the better. While some parents are forced by circumstance to put their children in the care of others during the day, many are doing so as the result of being influenced by the propaganda of the universal preschool lobby.

In targeted advertising campaigns, news reports and parenting magazines, preschool is being touted as the best place for children to spend their day. Families are being inundated with the message that if they do not separate from even their babies, their children will suffer dire consequences. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The fact is, there is no evidence that healthy children from healthy homes benefit from preschool at all. Furthermore, the research shows that there are no long-lasting benefits to preschool even for those from disadvantaged backgrounds. Studies have shown more advanced developmental skills and greater empathy in children who stay home with mom, while increased aggression and sadness occur in those who spend the day away from their mothers.

What we are seeing is a massive push to divide families, to have most American children raised by strangers in institutions. Digging through the web pages of the universal preschool advocates soon reveals their perverted goal — to foist mandatory, state-funded preschool on all states, for all children, from infancy. Christians need to believe the Bible and what has worked from the beginning – God’s divine design of having MOTHERS nurture their own babies, toddlers, preschoolers and older children in a loving Christian home, full-time. God created the family as the vehicle for taking care of all a child’s needs.

Those who intend on homeschooling need to understand that homeschooling begins at birth, so they should not put their children in preschool while they wait for the child to attain compulsory education age.

Corralling kids together in institutional preschools is no different than putting them in public school – in fact, it is even worse, as these formative years are when the child’s spiritual, emotional and academic foundations are being set. Parents CAN teach preschool at home – and do a much better job than any institution! If you are a loving Christian mother who can provide a safe and wholesome home for your children – then with YOU is where your precious children need to be. Trust Jesus to give you the wisdom you need to raise your own young!

Please consider these reasons why not to place a child in a day care or preschool:

1. Preschool promotes inconsistent discipline

Children need consistent, biblical discipline. Preschool divides a child’s heart between two sets of rules, two authorities — preschool and home. Preschool workers do not have a vested, eternal interest in raising up your child. And, they miss a lot of bad behavior because God never intended one unrelated adult to oversee many kids of the same age at the same time.

For those who remain unconvinced, try “the 30 second test” — watch children playing outside in a preschool yard. Within seconds you will see many instances of gross bullying and other dysfunctions — and the child care workers are too overwhelmed to notice or to care. After all, it takes a lot of energy and staff time to monitor so many children per adult and to keep the wild ones in “time outs” — energy and time they do not have.

In contrast, a husband and wife will work out one set of rules for the household and have their children adhere to those rules no matter what time of day. Discipline at home is given by the same person, with the same values, and by someone who is intent on shaping the children’s behavior, not just to keep the peace for the moment.

2. Preschool undermines the child-parent bond

A child has tremendous spiritual, emotional, physical and learning needs from babyhood on — that are best met by someone who has an eternal, loving interest in them.

Children need to try out their verbal skills one-on-one with an interested adult who knows and cherishes them, to safely ask all kinds of questions, to get sincere praise for the little accomplishments they have throughout the day, to get loving Biblical discipline, to get their basic needs met by someone who cares tremendously, and to get kisses and hugs every hour from their mommy, not a stranger.

Parents are told that children will “get over” their despair and pain at being left by mom in a preschool each day, but they won’t get over it — they will just “get over” trusting mom.

3. Preschool undermines sibling bonding

When you child is grown, they will not remember their “preschool friends” — it is their brothers and sisters whom they will call when they need help — if they forged a strong bond in childhood. Preschool artificially separates siblings from each other, depriving them of the quality family time they need to learn to love each other and be best friends in the deep, lasting way that God intended. God chose them to be together — He hand picked the sibling team you have been blessed with — do not force them apart.

4. Preschool undermines a mother’s intention to homeschool

A mother gets used to “the break” and often goes back to work when her children are in preschool. Even if she intended on homeschooling when the children became five and older, coming back home is often too much of a lifestyle change for her. She never learned to handle multiple children at home all week and becomes intimidated at the thought of suddenly being home alone with her own children. Deep in her heart, she knows the bond between her and her offspring has been disrupted, and that she has not “gone through the fire” of learning to deal with her children all day, all week.

In contrast, there is a peace about homeschooling mothers who stayed the course, who did not delegate their children to others, who cultivated a close walk with Jesus – they have gone through His refining fire as they cared for their little ones, and found He never let them fall. They look back on the preschool years with great fondness.

Another reason preschool undermines a potential homeschool is because mom has not experienced teaching her child many of the basics – the preschool has done her job. She may then lack the confidence to become her children’s teacher. For example, the preschool may have potty trained her children, taught them their colors, numbers, letters, and even to read.

Children who have always been home and taught the basics by their own mother usually have no problem accepting mom as their main teacher. But preschool children are often confused at this point, some folding their arms and declaring, “But you’re not my teacher — you’re my mother!” This has caused moms to feel intimidated by their own children.

5. Preschool exposes children to destructive peer influences

Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Parents of children sent to preschool have no idea what type of peers their children are being exposed to. Even in Christian preschools, there are children who come from homes that have pornography present, that allow foul TV and movie programs to be seen, where abuse occurs, etc. You just do not know. Even cruel words or unjust behavior from a peer or preschool worker can cause lifelong damage to your children’s view of learning and life.

Your children are gifts from God. Children are just learning the ways of the Lord and when thrown into an unstable environment of constantly changing peers and child care workers, their Godly character formation is sabotaged. God gave children parents to be their close supervisors and the guardians of their heart – do not delegate this divine responsibility to anyone else.

6. Preschool teaches a child a perverted form of justice

Sometimes parents say, “Children need to go to preschool to learn to handle bullies”. But a bullied child often becomes a bully. After all, no one stopped the bully. In preschool, children learn a worldly, Darwinian view of life — the survival of the fittest. Children in preschool quickly find their place in the pecking order, with weak and less attractive children getting harassed. In contrast, children who stay home can learn a solidly biblical worldview — a mother can make sure the bigger siblings learn to treat the little ones with the kindness of Jesus, doing good “to the least of these”.

7. Preschools may inaccurately diagnose a child

We are witnessing an epidemic of young children being tested, labeled and drugged for ADHD and other modern conditions. Preschool these days serve as a place where teachers and educational “experts” prescreen children for various mental, social, physical problems. The parents of this generation are more vulnerable than previous generations to think normal childhood and discipline issues are clinical problems that need therapy and drugs. Testing and labeling a child whose brain and motor skills are still undeveloped is like diagnosing a newborn bird with a flying problem. It’s best to keep your child home and far from the labeling fanaticism that is going on.

Why not give your children a loving, stable Christian environment, surrounded by those who love them? If you have a baby, toddler, preschooler – you ARE a homeschooler. Homeschooling starts when that newborn baby is put in your arms and is a natural continuum. Get off to a solid start in homeschooling by keeping your little ones at your side.

Choosing a Preschool Carpet

Wednesday, July 5th, 2017

When setting up your preschool one of your most important decisions will be choosing a preschool carpet. There are so many choices, designs, colors, and sizes. It can be intimidating. Let’s try to spell out what your choices are. In the end it is up to the teacher or administrator of the preschool.

Why not just have a bare floor? Why do you want to have carpeting in your preschool? The padding of the carpet will provide a safety net for the children. It will provide warmth during the cold season. It will be a comfortable place to have lessons and circle time. The familiarity will be a comfort zone that the children will want to return to. Set up a time for your lessons. Set up rules for behavior that apply to sitting on your preschool carpet. Make that time fun, exciting and full of information.

The preschool carpet will be a learning environment. The children will be learning just from looking at it. They will learn without even being aware of it. Depending on the preschool carpet that you choose, your preschool children will be learning ABC’s or alphabet, color and shapes. The carpets that are available today can also teach Spanish, sign language, maps of the United Stated or the world, multicultural and inspiration themes and so much more.

Carpets come in all kinds of sizes and shapes. When choosing size and shape, look at the purpose of the preschool carpet. If it is for circle and lesson time and you have 8 children, you will need a different size than if you have 20 children. You may be purchasing a carpet just for your reading learning center or dramatic play learning center. These carpets will be sized for their functions. You may like a shape the puts all the children around the edge of the carpet. The children will be facing each other and you, as the teacher will be able to get a good view of all the children at once.

Find a preschool carpet that has great eye appeal. Look for ones with bright colors, great design and the best materials. Some have designs like geometric shapes, books, pencils, maps and children’s faces. You get to choose what appeals to you and what you think the children will like. There is function and there is design. Choose one that fills both of these needs.

Look for a good-quality carpet. You will want a premium nylon that is bound on the edges. It needs to pass fire code requirements. A good preschool carpet will have a lifetime abrasive wear warranty, a lifetime anti-bacterial treatment and stain guard protection. Look for a company that stands behind their product and has the best prices guaranteed.

You will want to choose a preschool carpet that will be fun yet the children will learn from it. A good trick of seasoned professional teachers is to introduce items that teach without even trying. The preschool carpet is the prime example of this. It will be a learning tool that the children will enjoy. Get on the professional bandwagon and get your preschool carpet now.

Effects of Military Deployment on Preschool Children and Tips to Help Support Them and Their Family

Tuesday, June 27th, 2017

The Department of Defense reports that approximately 2 million children in the United States are in a military family and approximately 200,000 children have a parent at war at any given time.

Many military families seemingly take military deployment as a given and in stride. Many families do not, especially when you add a preschooler to that mix. Preschoolers do not know how to take a parent being away for extended periods of time “in stride.”

Preschool children’s lives are based on daily routines and it is how they “tell time.” When they brush their teeth at night, for example, they know what comes next- perhaps a story or prayer with a parent and then time for bed. If you try to tuck a preschooler into bed who is used to this type of routine, they will be confused and the conversation may be something like:

Parent: “Time for bed! Hop under the covers.”

Preschooler: “It’s not bed time yet!”

Parent: “Yes it is. It’s 7:30.”

Preschooler: “No, it’s not! It’s not bed time!”

Parent: (pointing at clock), “Sweetie, it really is 7:30. It’s time for bed.”

Preschooler: “But I didn’t brush my teeth!”

They do not necessarily want to brush their teeth for the dental hygiene benefits! They want to brush their teeth because that is their routine; it is how they know it is bed time.

With a military parent deployed, you can imagine how many daily routines will now be different for your preschool student. This confusion may show itself in behavioral issues not typical for this child.

A research study on the effects of deployment on preschoolers (1) note hitting, biting and hyperactivity as the most reported behavioral changes. The children are reacting not only to a parent being away for an extended period, but also to the additional stress of the increased responsibilities on the parent not deployed. Preschoolers pick up on this stress naturally. They also will notice the reduced time spent with the parent still at home due to the parent’s increased responsibilities.

The American School Counselor Association and the National Association of School Psychologists offered 5 pieces of advice for families to consider when one parent’s military deployment is nearing. I’ve added advice for strategies that we, as teachers and caregivers, can apply in our classrooms.

1. Stick with routines; maintain consistency.

Families should try their best to keep their daily routines (such as morning routines, bed times and daily chores) as consistent as possible as the deployment date nears.

Teachers should, as discussed above, keep routines the same. The consistency and predictability will help the preschooler feel more secure.

2. Communicate often and always.

Families: The Associations recommend that families share news, feelings and strategies to overcome sad feelings and to avoid minimizing what is happening. Children cannot tell time. The family can help the children have a visual time reminder by creating a countdown calendar to count the days until the parent leaves or comes home.

Teachers: Telling a child that Mommy or Daddy will be back soon will most likely not be understood by the preschooler. Their SOON and our SOON is very different. Find out from the parents when the deployed parent will return so that you can show the preschooler on a calendar should they ask when Mommy or Daddy are coming home.

3. Keep kids (and spouse) involved in healthy habits.

We all burn off stress and worry in our own ways! We may talk on the phone with friends, go to the gym or just tap our foot incessantly! Preschoolers need strategies to reduce stress also!

Families: Encourage the parent to include their preschooler on a daily walk to burn off any stress or anxiety together and for some nice together time.

Teachers: If you notice that this preschooler has a lot of energy at a certain time of day, they probably need to burn it off! Consider adding a music and movement, gross motor or outside time to your day for all the children during this time.

4. Adopt a good behavior plan.

Families should keep the same behavior expectations and consequences in place after a parent is deployed. Young children understand consistency. Letting unacceptable behaviors slide at home can allow those behaviors to become regular behaviors.

Teachers: As discussed above, it is so important to keep your routines and expectations the same before the deployment and after. Yes, be aware that this child is feeling angry and frustrated due to being separated from their parent. Do not, however, allow inappropriate behaviors to “slide” because you know where it’s coming from. It’s still not o.k. to hurt our friends or throw our toys. Be consistent with these expectations and redirect the child acting out. Let them know you understand that they are angry, however you cannot let them _________ (throw toys, push others, etc.).

5. Demonstrate and verbalize your love.

Families: The advice from the Associations for families here is “Hug long, hard and often!” The amount of stress the parent at home is under is tremendous. Their thoughts are in 19 different directions. Remind them to take a break and just be-read a story with their kids and take time for an extra hug!

Teachers: Reach out to families. Offer books or book lists to help with this time of separation for their children. Also, send cards to the parent at home to remind her or him that you are thinking of them!

Military deployment may be for several weeks or for a year. Regardless of the amount of time, remember that time is not concrete for preschool children. Even a week away from a parent can feel like an eternity to a child. Be aware of changes in behavior and keep the communication with parents open and constant!

1. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2008;162(11):1009-1014.

A book list for children dealing with Military Deployment can be found on my website under Family Life